shake shake shake it off

Meh, it's done. I kind of don't care anymore. Movin' on.

He fuckin proved that he doesn't care about me, so I don't care about him either.

And I'm tired of playing this dumb game. You mess with me that many times, I stop being little miss nice chick. I gave him plenty of chances and he didn't take any of them.

It's a shame. I really liked him. I had real feelings for him, and cared about him. But I'm nothing to him but a physical outlet. And it makes me feel like shit. Plus, I have to worry about him doing things with other girls, and that just doesn't work for me. So when I told him this and he pretty much acted like he didn't give a shit, that's when it hit me that he's not worth it. And I realized it's time to let it go FOR REAL and MOVE THE FUCK ON.

I want a real relationship, not something that's kept undercover. I want someone who's not afraid to show their feelings for me in public. I don't mean PDA, I mean holding my hand or giving me a hug or something. NOT ignoring me and texting other girls and making me edit other girls' dumbass papers for them. -_- I should've just messed up that dumb paper.

And I might have found someone who cares about me like they should, so you know what? On to the next one! Hmph. Got a problem with that, take it up with me. Damn straight.

.......................

I don't need people in my life who don't give a fuck about me
and
I wish I had never let him see me cry

finit

damn, I do stupid things sometimes. And say stupid stuff.
And, I hate it.
The end.

What happened to the reserved girl I used to be in high school?
Even my mom thinks I'm becoming "too ghetto"
Okay. Ghetto may not be the word for it. I think I'm the same girl, except what I used to feel like inside has finally been set loose outside. In high school there was just no outlet. I'm like a step behind everyone.

Hopefully next semester will mean a new, clean slate. I feel like this semester I was just a little too crazy. I mean, I admit it. But it's whatever, you know? Meh.

we stand worlds apart

shake it off

fight what's inside you trying to bring you down
fight these suckas who wanna make you feel like a P.O.S.
fight these bitches that judge you for stuff they know nothing about
then when you're done fighting it out,
exhale and show the world some love,
'cause you sure as hell don't want to end up like those suckas and bitches.

a wise friend and leader of mine once told me,
"i'm not sure we can control who we're attracted to"
boy, I learned that the hard way. and still I always manage to like these guys who are jerks. why the fuckity fuck did I fall for a guy that I knew isn't right for me...? and then I pushed myself away from him. but ended up coming right back, like a SUCKA! ugh! fuck you, heart! and ... annoyed at him too. commitment problems. grhjjhsjhgh. I wish it wasn't like that. 'Cause I really like him. But that ^ is a big issue to me. I can't keep going like this. I need to treat myself better.
I deserve better...

anyways,
I'm getting over all this drama shit, so it's all good
in a week or two, it'll be over for good and I can move on
hopefully find someone who actually appreciates me and can ...not be a player.
is that too much to ask? why do people think that nowadays women should just settle for less? why is it considered okay for a man to be an unfair partner and for the woman to just put up with it? how come when we hear a song like "just the way you are" by bruno mars, it's a big fucking deal to hear a guy speak so sweetly? shouldn't that be how boyfriends treat their girlfriends anyway? damn, the world is fucked up.

sorry for all the cussing but as I've said so many times before, I feel like I should be totally honest on this blog, and I do cuss that much in my mind. oopsie daisy.

I've been at HOME home for the past...week and to be honest I am so so so so so so so so ready to go back downtown. I've gotten so used to life in the city. Being in the 'burbs sucks the life out of me.

close your eyes

tired of letting
passive aggression
control my mind
capture my soul
okay you're right,
just let it go