I feel it. Every day I get more and more pushed to my limit, to the point where I feel like I want to be unconscious half the time. Today I got away through meditating somehow, listening to music and closing my eyes while walking on the 'mill, imagining myself sailing through an ocean, climbing a mountain, dancing with natives. Anything. I close my eyes so tightly that I can see images in the back of my eyelids. Tomorrow, I don't know. I should look into kickboxing. Million Dollar Baby and stuff. Fight Club.
I feel like some monstrous, adolescent-souled THING has taken the place of what used to be my MOM. Where's my mom? I WANT HER BACK. I want my old mom back. I just want her back. I've already lost one parent to the world's grip, I can't lose the other one. The worst thing is, she's completely oblivious to it all.
And God, will you please listen? I'm shouting at you and you say nothing.
Now I know why so many people run from their problems. I know why so many people "smoke it all away" and "drown their sorrows", why they close their eyes to extinguish their fears. If you can't see it, if you can't feel it, it's not there...right?
If only it were so clear.
Anyway...enough about my problems. Everyone's got them; mine ain't the worst.
I started reading Call of the Wild and felt connected to it.
First time in a while that a book has affected me as much.
P.S. I figure I should start crediting my title pictures. The last ones have all been from searches on vi.sualize.us, and will always be from there unless I specify otherwise. I take credit for none of them, unless I specify.
*title image by Gabriel Moreno
www.gabrielmoreno.com
I feel like some monstrous, adolescent-souled THING has taken the place of what used to be my MOM. Where's my mom? I WANT HER BACK. I want my old mom back. I just want her back. I've already lost one parent to the world's grip, I can't lose the other one. The worst thing is, she's completely oblivious to it all.
And God, will you please listen? I'm shouting at you and you say nothing.
Now I know why so many people run from their problems. I know why so many people "smoke it all away" and "drown their sorrows", why they close their eyes to extinguish their fears. If you can't see it, if you can't feel it, it's not there...right?
If only it were so clear.
Anyway...enough about my problems. Everyone's got them; mine ain't the worst.
I started reading Call of the Wild and felt connected to it.
First time in a while that a book has affected me as much.
P.S. I figure I should start crediting my title pictures. The last ones have all been from searches on vi.sualize.us, and will always be from there unless I specify otherwise. I take credit for none of them, unless I specify.
*title image by Gabriel Moreno
www.gabrielmoreno.com
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