I wish I could get on that Blogs of Note thing!

Anyway...

Greek mythology bites. I honestly don't care about Zeus' many escapades with women who weren't his wife and the half-immortal offspring that came about because of it.
The following paragraphs have ranty/loserish information about my non-existant relationship-life that you most likely would be bored by. Proceed with caution.

So at church today my mom kept being annoying. There was this guy around my age seated next to me and she kept telling me he was looking at me all the time, and so I should say hi. Okay, like, he wasn't even looking at me, alright? He was like looking at his freaking shoulder or something. And he kept scratching his shoes. What's that all about?

Or maybe he was looking at me, and I'm just too afraid to admit it. I mean, if he was looking, it doesn't mean anything, right? Just 'cause I look at someone doesn't mean I automatically like them.

Guh.

That's my problem. I'm afraid. I've been pelted with so much negativity about my appearance, from others and from myself, directly and indirectly, that it's just embedded into my psyche. I can't shake it off. Whenever I start feeling overconfident, or like some guy I think is cute might actually think the same about me, I think, are you serious? you?! really?! you're a hot mess. that can't be possible. As sob-story-ish as that sounds, that's seriously what goes through my mind. I do not mean to sound like Danny Gokey, going on about how his wife died and all that. Sympathy votes. Allison should've stayed. Ahem. But I digress.

I have come to the conclusion that to move on anywhere in this stagnant, never-changing status of "single" that I've had since...ever (except for those flings in middle school which don't count, one of which was long-distance and lasted 2 weeks, the other which turned out to be some buttface pretty much using me to make his ex jealous), I'll have to jump some hurdles.

Hurdle #1: Overcome self-doubt.
Hurdle #2: Speak up.
Hurdle #3: Not be afraid.
Hurdle #4: Stop letting people trample me.
Hurdle #5: Stop thinking guys only talk to me when my pretty friends are around me. Even though it's true.

Yeah, yeah, that sounds like an annoying self-help tape, but it's true. Those are the things impeding me. And it makes me mad, too. People think they can just say stuff to me and get away with it. They have, but not anymore, I tell you. I've had people tell me, just out of the blue, that (in plain terms) my outfit sucks. GREAT opinion, but keep it to yourself, really. I feel like punching people who say stuff like that. What do people GAIN out of that? Oh, self-satisfaction, I know. But at what expense?

AND, people snapping at me about my photography. It's getting annoying. Yeah. You know who you are. My sarcasm radar definitely caught that little bit at the end. You're not building anyone up by using uselessly snarky sarcasm.



/END RANT


To neutralize this post, I send kisses and hugs to all the people of the world who have managed not to annoy me today.

Good night, Atlanta.

p.s. I updated my flickr account if anyone wants to see and not be snarktastic about it.